Some practical advice for getting the most out of a Las Vegas Champagne Brunch

There are countless ways to over indulge in Las Vegas, with my personal favorite being the quintessential bottomless champagne brunch (is there any other kind?). Having experienced a number of these gastronomic glutton-fests, I’ve discovered a “system of eating” at Vegas buffets that’s sure to lend a sense of value, as well as assist you in getting as much as possible down that insatiable gullet.

Follow my advice and you’re sure to walk away with a great buzz and a satisfied palette. Upon being seated, immediately order your first round of Mimosas or Bloody Mary’s. Stay put! Wait for them to arrive, drink a quick toast and then send exactly half of your party to forage for the first round of food. Here’s the madness behind my method… by waiting for the cocktails to arrive before you visit the buffet, you are removing yourself from the self-imposed cacophony of crazed-buffet-feeding-frenzy-energy. You see… the casino is counting on you flying to the buffet to gobble up a bunch of muffins and yogurt and to be too full to eat the mind-splittingly-expensive imported Black Forest ham.

The first expedition to the buffet first should stick to plates of fresh and exotic fruit (maybe a bit of cheese). No carbohydrates, yet – they’ll fill you up too fast. The fruit will give you a bit of much-needed hydration in preparation for all the alcohol you’re sure to consume, and it’s light enough to not weigh you down too early in your brunch experience. As half of your group returns with some share plates and nosh, half the group is saved from the hungry seas of humanity, safely docked with cocktails and champagne in hand. This also allows the group to eat in more of a family style, leisurely – nibbly cocktail-hour manner. Much more civilized, don’t you think?

Once the community fruit plates are finished (and you’ve order another round of champagne cocktails), send off the other half of the group. Their mission is to bring back proteins and they should be on the lookout for the more exotic types. No link sausages here! If you can order it at the IHOP, why are you eating it in Vegas? Stick with the Kobe beef skewers, peel-n-eat shrimp, crab legs and lobster. Eggs are also acceptable, but only if they’re some overly fabulous quiche or maybe crab cakes benedict. Waffles are lovely, I know, but they don’t provide bang for the buck. And, you can easily order those with scrambled eggs at your neighborhood IHOP.

Keep ordering cocktails (when I say cocktails, I mostly mean the included champagne, with a possible peppering of mixed drinks), and keep sending half the group at a time. The less you have to rub elbows with all that humanity, the better! After several rounds of protein, consider introducing some fabulous-looking starches and maybe some other carbohydrates (although chances are you will have lost total interest in muffins by this point).

Lastly – dessert. Now, I’ve already introduced you to the concept of “staying away from anything that you could order at the IHOP” – but I’ll re-iterate for those of you who are still foggy on the concept. When it comes to Vegas buffet desserts, if you are squeezing out soft-serve ice cream, go back to the first paragraph and READ THIS AGAIN! Some of the finest pastry chefs in the world can be found in Vegas, and many of them contribute to the casino buffets. Dessert is the time for you to indulge in a level of confectionary decadence that would cause teeth to tingle from the sugar content and force you into a diabetic coma. Finish dessert, order one more round of cocktails before stumbling out, and feel secure in the knowledge that you have gotten the maximum out of your Vegas buffet experience!

-Rick Rifle

The Paradise Garden Buffet at The Flamingo (www.flamingolasvegas.com) offers Champagne Brunch on Saturday and Sunday for $19.99 in a beautiful retro-kitsch atmosphere. Bellagio’s (www.bellagio.com) Saturday & Sunday Champagne Buffet will set you back $28.95. Saturday and Sunday Champagne Brunch at The MGM Grand (www.mgmgrand.com) costs $27.49. Treasure Island’s (www.treasureisland.com) Champagne Brunch on Saturday and Sunday is a very affordable $20. Sterling Brunch inside Bally’s Steakhouse (www.ballyslasvegas.com) is a pricey at $85, but includes all-you-can-drink Perrier-Jouët Champagne. Weekend Champagne Brunch at Wynn Las Vegas (www.wynnlasvegas.com) is $36.95